How many questions do I get about forgiveness?
People often ask me the same questions about forgiveness. I will address 56 of them within 12 categories. Click on the topic, and it will lead you to a list of related problems and their answers: I cannot forgive! Forgive and forget?
When do we need to forgive the wrong doer?
As for our need to forgive, it does not matter whether we got hurt on purpose or by accident. However, the quick resolution is more critical when the wrong-doer planned the harm. The risk to take vengeance, to become an aggressor, and to sin is much higher in this situation.
Is it easier to blame somebody or ask for forgiveness?
Sometimes it is easier to blame somebody than to go through the full forgiveness process. Moreover, some people require the sinner to ask for forgiveness. While this shows repentance and makes the forgiving easier, it is however not necessary. We are not dependent on anybody for our well-being!
Why is it necessary to forgive someone who has hurt you?
The sin of others makes us sin. Only forgiveness can free us from this vicious circle. Forgiveness is the protection against temptation and sin. Of course, there is also the requirement by God to forgive. More about this later. 6. Why should I forgive a person who has hurt me? Forgiveness is never about the aggressor.
How does forgiveness help you deal with the past?
Since forgiveness separates the bond to the aggressor, forgiveness stops the constant reliving of the aggression. It sets us free to use our thoughts in more productive ways. It takes significant energy to deal with the constant flashes from the past.
Why is forgiveness never about the aggressor?
Forgiveness is never about the aggressor. It is always about ourselves. We never can change the past. What happened is set in stone. Our grudges will not change the position or actions of the offender. We never gain anything from getting even and becoming an aggressor. On the contrary, our grudges and responses may even justify the offender.
Why is it so hard to forgive someone?
Forgiveness is about you, and how you feel about something and someone, not how they react to how you feel. The other person doesn’t have to know anything about your decision. In fact if we want forgiveness to involve a confrontation, we often aren’t ready to forgive at all, but are still looking for more drama.